You know sometimes you think that you Really want something and then it comes true and you wonder ´what the heck was I thinking´. Well life has done that too me twice now and both times it´s pushing me in a direction I thought I wanted but after a trial run I now know that it is not for me.
I feel terrible as I am letting people down, that will be the hardest thing I have to do!
Yet is the Universe saying that I should really take the path that has been offered to me twice ermm come to think of it I have been offered this route 3 Times!
So my curve ball has landed for the third time and I am not going to follow that path, what I need to do is stop thinking of that route. Find a different objective, don´t let those words come out my mouth, or take up brain time. I need to dream of the life I want to live, not the life that will benefit others. Yes it is selfish and I guess I have been more selfish in my life that most people. No children, my parents gone, close family are self sufficient and don´t need me and close friends I can love and trust.
This other path would be much less selfish, life would not be about me, things, possessions, holidays. There would be love and tears, new meetings and letting go of so much that I value. opportunities in a different way that I could never have dreamed of. The chance to write that book, no excuses as I have now! No time to call my own but there to make everyone else´s life easier. Should I do it?
Yes the Universe has thrown me a curve ball, again, and I was thinking of dodging it but it seems like it needs more thought!