Life has been smooth for a while and I suppose some people looking at me and many others, from the outside, are not really seeing the daily energy required to keep life on that smooth path.
I am back home in Altea having had a really busy and lovely trip to the UK. It left me homesick for my favourite sunset spot and I guess its more to do with the people that I was leaving behind as well. A time of loss and also happiness that they stay in my life with me in my life through the rough and the smooth without a hidden word or comment. Just their choice.
Yet those envious of my life style, leaving the dreaded 9 – 5 back in the UK. The dark nights, the cold and often very rainy weather. Are missing the other side of the coin. The huge loss in my pension because I became ill and had to leave work early! The destruction of my life savings as I worked to get better. Spending it all on just trying to find a solution that would work for me instead of the NHS fighting to almost kill me off. Losing a lifeline to meeting 100´s of people a week and with no children of my own that connection was the hardest to break of them all.
So now you can all laugh again and go ¨told you so Gill, life is not always as green on the other side!´
I am physically and mentally struggling again. My blood results recently were exactly they should be to keep me healthy yet they scare the hell out of my GP. OK they forgot the B12 blood test but I will catch up with that one soon. I had my first weekend off work since last December, just this weekend, so I really should have been on top form to take on a new role. Many weeks I got no day off at all during the summer.
Then came the stress of being back in an office and surrounded by electricity. Trying to learn a new job, systems that could be improved. Difficulty in getting people to listen and a serious relapse. I had just started to try a new batch of medication and I was straight back into all my symptoms. Headaches, nausea, poor eyesight, lack of co-ordination, pain everywhere, bad stomach, unable to speak. I fell asleep whilst driving, guess I should have avoided driving that day but the lovely Spanish quickly gave me a beep to wake me up from my doze at the traffic lights. I could not sleep at night. The system I was learning was driving me crazy. No energy at all again and I had to consider again over my weekend off would it be cleaning my teeth or a shower. Yup I was back there.
I came off all medications for 3 days and the pain and fog started to life. I did some research and found a complaint about the batch of medication I was using. Perhaps it was that not me, which was a great sense of relief as to have T3 stop working would be a real nightmare scenario.
I am trying to turn the rough to the smooth by going back to total basics. Back to the right diet. Introducing a new NHS batch of T3 in small doses and strictly according to the packet and my timetable.
I am glad to say it is working and the rocks are getting crushed and life is getting back to a little less pain and upset. Yet this is now the 3rd time a NHS batch has let me down and I can no longer afford to buy the private and much better medication from Mexico, Cytomel that really originally changed my life. There is a price to pay for living in the sun after all!
So do remember that no matter how wonderful someone else´s life appears to be you don´t know what rocky path they are trying to smooth over and the effort behind the scenes that is going into it.
Never judge, accept what is and perhaps they will turn to you in their time of need. Recognising that statement ´that a friend in need is a friend indeed´.
What is so amazing about you, gill, is your awareness and understanding of what it is that you are dealing with. It’s truly admirable. I’m glad that you know how to be your own best doctor. If only we were all so aware of what it is our bodies need. And, yes, you’re right. It’s impossible to know from the outside what struggles each of us face on the inside. That’s why it’s important for us to be able to rejoice and celebrate but also to have compassion and understanding. And mostly we need to be able to explain so that others can understand. Thanks for sharing.