One of my life’s wishes is to seek out and enjoy new adventures every year and yes I’ve started on that journey once again!
Not content with loving Altea, having my partner with me full time and loving all my friends there and the wonderful lifestyle that came with it…it was time for my New Year Adventure and it started on 4th January,
Well it actually started earlier with the offer of a job, in fact so much more, a real career. The chance to start again and my age! That’s when the self doubts came in.
Would it be lonely?
Would I be good enough?
Was this a step too far?
Would I meet the same lovely people?
Would my relationship take yet another long distance separation?
How would it be living in a new place on my own again?????
So here I am starting out all over again. It’s lonely as anything and I have to remember that even with the most amazing of contacts, Sara of Altearte, I felt lonely there too at first. So ‘yes’ it is a case of acceptance of something you can’t change.
When you move to a new place, you will feel really lonely till you make the effort to get out and meet people and then have the opportunity to choose your friends. The lesson last time was to be open to meeting as many people as possible, hear what they say and then you will find the right people to really connect with. Time is your friend here, so make the most of it by not locking yourself away and dwelling on ‘if only’….
First day in the new job and it went well, since then not so good. Fortunately I had a whole season of the ups and downs and know that it’s not me, well unless I have the wrong attitude, its more that the people are not interested today and I can change that by a friendly chat today. Tomorrow they see me more as an advisor and come to me because listened to them today and understood!
A double promotion in just one season, a step too far! Well a good friend told me the story about how she got a much needed job. At the interview when asked if she got the job, when could she start her reply was ‘well your lost a day by not asking me to start now!’. I love that response. Oh to have that self confidence and belief. Perhaps this was an opportunity that even I had not recognised as being possible, so it has to be another ‘Yes’ and grab it with both hands. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Meeting people is always hard and it does worry you with a new job, will you like your colleagues. I saw something once that said act the way you want to be. So I came in open, honest, positive. I’m meeting people just like me and I’m meeting better too, so I am willing to learn and give more. I’m happy to listen and learn.
Without my partner I could not be taking this step. It was all about talking. Taking time by listening to each other. Talking through our our own problems and concerns, our own ways around them and then working together to find the right solution for us. We met later in life than I wish we had but then again by that time perhaps we had turned into the people that were right for each other. He’s my toy boy and I at school he would have been a spotty kid……
Back to being lonely in a new place. It’s not about me talking and finding friends that way. It’s about taking opportunities to meet people and listening to them. People give you so much free information about themselves when they chat too you and it’s interesting to listen to the words they use and how they combine them. I’m loving listening and learning.