It’s been a difficult few months with me going out to work and poor house husband struggling to find work and bouncing off the walls!
Since April I have had a part-time job out in the sun for supposedly 4 hours a day with a brief trip back to the office before home. Nice short days, OK in the heat of the sun but doing something I hoped I would enjoy. As in all jobs it was not as it was ‘sold ‘ to me.
Staff problems, target problems and by the end of the season I was frazzled out! Almost back to suffering adrenal fatigue as I could see the dark bags under my eyes growing every day. The medication wasn’t working, my adrenal’s were no longer pumping out energy and I was like a car trying to do the last 300 miles on a totally empty tank. Every bit of the engine, my body, was grating and jarring. Each step more painful than the last and tears of exhaustion at the end of each day. Just when there was light the goal posts were changed and it became a bitter struggle to an end that could just about wipe out my self respect.
I was looking at life solely from my point of view and it was a tough standing place.
I needed rest, relaxation, meditation, peace and instead all I was getting was a house husband, bored, lonely, frustrated and angry at not being able to support me by having a job when he could see what working was doing to me. Now don’t get me wrong, he is loving and generous to me. Every day after work there was always a cool drink waiting for me and the offer of some ‘me’ time to meditate. A fresh meal cooked, sometimes with a large dose of helping hand from me! Yet I also knew that he needed someone to talk to, to let go of his moans to and just to be there to listen to him.
It was getting to be a battle that was making us both even more anxious about who we were and where our life in Spain was going. Arguments like we had never had before. Me getting so frustrated that I got so ill that he had to watch me being sick.
Yes at that moment life totally sucked and all we both wanted was freedom from the drudgery that had engulfed us. We couldn’t see the beautiful are we live in. We did not notice our neglected friends who would have been there with encouragement. The quality of the food that was nourishing us. The life style that so better suits us!
We were planing a big holiday, yet it was adding in even more pressure as I became more tired with work and then having to sit on the computer for ages trying to get organised. It was all becoming a recipe for disaster………..
Time for drastic action. We had to find options for having a ‘good day’ not just together but apart as well. We both have a love of good wine and where better than our Spanish region to have the opportunity to go and visit vineyards. It added into the ‘must do’s’ in life but it became a want to do. No pressure just fun – organising a wine trip for 6 with lots of laughs on the day.
We need to learn Spanish but it was too much for me with work as well, so House husband went off. Became frustrated and then enlightened as he also went to Altearte and an inter cambio. New friends have been made and they add into the help now at the dog pound, taking off more pressure. Then last night with only a tiny helping hand after a long meditation for me – he produced a three course dinner party for friends.
To say I am proud of him is an understatement. He just needs to believe in all the great things he does and I know that the job will come flying his way too and it will be all he dreams of.
Just wanted to say Hi there House Husband, life has been tough and you are amazing. Love You.