Something about spring coming along tends to make us feel more interest in our love life. You met this wonderful person, it was love and now just because it’s Valentine’s day, you are supposed to be ‘in love with them’!
Often in our relationships we can let life get in the way of that loving feeling.
Relationships seem to have a pattern to them and sometimes we get through the stages quickly, other times slowly. Can you recognise where yours is at now
- New romance, you feel like you are merging into one, the time of bliss and mutual respect and appreciation. You will take on each others interests so that you become a unit.
- Commitment time, maybe move in together, buy a commitment ring. You are loving each other for who you each are individually and also learning that as two parts in this relationship you are stronger than apart. You are giving of yourself and realising that your friends are an important part of the future for you as a couple too.
- Self finding, the time when you are secure enough in each other to now be able to start doing things independently again. Maybe just some ‘me’ time, or a new hobby that is just yours.
- Dependability, you can now depend on each other and the relationship is easy. Perhaps beginning to move into the boring and too familiar. So now could be the time that one of you is ready to make a bold move. Change their job, go back to education and it gives a new freshness to the relationship.
- Change happens, maybe its the kids growing up or losing your parents. Now is the time to meet change and deal with it head on as a couple.
- Romance, how come it seems to hit again with older couples. They can’t bear to be without each other and the closeness develops all over again.
No matter what stage you are at, take time to stop and assess and maybe take action before any rot sets in. Are you showing signs that an argument is more likely this Valentine than romance?
Are you or your partner, more silent than usual?
Maybe they have closed off when you look at them, their arms are crossed, tense in the jaw, pacing?
Things that you used to put up with, now annoy you!
Well here are some tips that could help you have the best Valentine day, or if you need more work then next year will be something to look forward to.
Set time side to be together, without judgement and misunderstandings. Look on it as an investment in you as a couple.
Find a way to laugh together, maybe its memories from the past, but better still try something new together that will get you laughing.
Actions speak louder than words. That flick of the eye – don’t do it. A genuine smile will mean so much more.
There are no winners or losers in a good relationship, a little bit of compromise goes a long way. Try it and you could end up more relaxed and happier together.
Take a risk, it’s exactly what you did when the relationship started. It came with no guarantees, so take a risk and seek out the positives that the risk will give you.
Have some independence, I don’t mean live separate lives but have something that is just you. It gives you confidence, fresh air and more to talk about.
Finally the big one, have patience with each other. It was there at the beginning, so step back, take a breath and allow patience to rule again. Here’s to a happy relationship.