Breaking up is hard to do!

Every minute of every day, change happens in your life. A cell in your body dies and is replaced with a new one, so if you don’t accept change you are defying natures greatest gift in keeping you alive!

As your life changes you have to make tough decisions.
Should I sell my car? Get a newer one…..
Do I leave my job?
I’ve been made redundant what next?
I can retire, what next?
After being so ill for so long, what do I do next?
Should I move to a new country?
My parent, or partner had died, how do I carry on?

So many decisions and that’s why the song ‘Breakin up is hard to do’ came to mind. It might be a song about the end of a love affair but some of the lines are really good. It was written by songwriters: Howard Greenfield and Neil Sedaka. It’s been sung by many people and in many languages

You tell me that you’re leaving
I can’t believe it’s true
Darlin’ there’s no living
Without you
Down, dooby, do, down down
Come-a Come-a
Down, dooby, do down, down
Come-a Come-a
Down, dooby, do, down, down
Breaking up is hard to do
Don’t take your love
Away from me
Don’t you leave my heart
In misery
Cause if you go
Then I’ll be blue
Cause breakin’ up is hard to do
They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now i know, i know that i’ts true
Don’t say that this is the end
Instead of breaking up i wish that we were making up again
Remember when
You held me tight
And you kissed me
All through the night
Think of all
That we been through
Breakin’ up is hard to do
They say that breaking up
Is hard to do
Now I know, I know
That it’s true
Don’t say that this is the end
Instead of breaking up
I wish that we were makin’ up again
I beg of you
Don’t say good-bye
Can’t we give our love
Another try
Come on baby
Let’s start anew
Breakin’ up is hard to do
Breaking up’s so very hard to do
So hard to do

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do lyrics © EMI Music Publishing

Were you singing along to that?
Our brain helps us to make decisions, even if sometimes the break up is not our idea. Part of our brain works on impulses and emotions and other parts on long term considerations. If both parts agree then the decision seems easy.

‘what shall I have for tea tonight’ – I fancy steak and salad. That’s good on my adrenal supporting diet, so both parts of the brain agree!
Often though the differing parts of the brain appear to have to compete and your head goes into a ‘fog’ as you try to determine the best option.

I suppose this is where we often say about your heart ruling your head, or is it the other way around for you?

Your job may have really filled your moral and emotional values, or it may just have met the monetary need in your life. Depending on which, could make the decision to leave easier.
You hate your job, its in an office and they are moving it so that your new journey to work will be 2 hours each way – You find a job that’s nearer to home and gives you the chance to work in garden design an interest you have always had and know you will love.
Your job is low paid and its hard to keep the family happy – the next job means you can have 2 holidays a year which gives you more time to be with your family.

Over time its thought that we learn to avoid bad experiences and so rather than letting our heart sometimes over rule our head, we just go for the path of least resistance.

Going back to the song then……

Cause breakin’ up is hard to do
They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now I know, I know that its true
The decision to break up may not be yours, yet you will still go through the pain just the same. It’s hard, so agree with yourself that you will get through this break up.
Think of all
That we been through
Take time to reflect on what you went through in that experience, what were the highs and the lows, what have you learned.
Going through each day because you had too, may not have left you time for reflection.
What new skills have you learned?
What old habits have you got rid of?
Take time to evaluate and learn from this experience.

Let’s start anew
Let both sides of the brain do battle and listen to both the heart and the head.

By going through the steps in the song you have empowered yourself with knowledge that will help the brain sort through the emotions and the consequences and you may find decision making comes much easier.

This fits in with my plan on recovery from my illness and my move into my new life.

Make a contract with myself
That I would ask for help
I would learn
I would do what it took
That I needed someone to talk to
Ready to move on

     Recovering Me
   info@recoveringme.co.uk
  Call 03302200112 (local UK call rate)